Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On Dressing Right

Two related things came up yesterday...

First, this wonderful post from Chrissy on the level of angst experienced by a woman trying to figure out what sort of dress to wear to a wedding. This is one of those things that makes me glad to be a man: if the invitation says "black tie" we know we're supposed to wear a tuxedo (black, duh), unlike our ladies who can spend weeks agonizing over what sort of dress to wear (length? color? neckline high or low? material? gloves? no gloves? hat? no hat? jewelry? AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!). If you're a man, it's fairly easy to be ... well ... sharp-dressed ...


Good luck, Chrissy...hope you find the right dress. Perhaps this will help ...

Yesterday I ran across the only article I've ever read in the Financial Times that I understood: an essay by Geoff Dyer titled The Perfect Summer Dress. It provides a great summary for the ladies of the rules for selecting the ideal dress for summer wear, and includes interesting guidelines like,

If the dress is very short then it is too obviously sexual. And then, because the wearer has to make sure that the dress is not too revealing, she is all the time having to pull it down or restrict her movements, thereby contradicting one of the essential purposes of the summer dress: absolute freedom of movement.

and,

Above all, it must be simple. Bows, frills, sashes and so on detract from the essentialness that is the essential quality of the summer dress. It is the irreducible symbol, the last layer separating the naked fact of a woman from the world.

Oh, and (according to Mr Dyer) it has to be sleeveless. After all, the Constitution gives you the right to bare arms (the Founders clearly appreciated a beautiful lady in a summer dress, too). For a connoisseur of beautiful female arms like myself, a summer dress just has to be sleeveless. Of course, it also gets back to that exposed armpit thing we've been discussing, but heck, it's summer ... go for it.

Well, that's all for now. I have to get dressed (black tie not required, happily) and go to work. I have angst of my own about that, my vision being color-deficient and my fashion sense somewhat impaired...but then, as long as I don't look like Bozo the Clown, I guess I can get away with pretty much anything.

It's the beauty of being a guy.

Have a good day. Dress well. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

6 comments:

Amanda said...

See...guys always think that they don't really need to think about what they're wearing but that just means that the women in their lives have to not only agonize over what they have to wear but worry about what you guys may walk out in.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I agree w/Amanda!!!

KathyA said...

Too bad the Preamble/Constitution doesn't provide for a common defense against upper arm flab!!

Bilbo said...

Amanda and M(PorPToo) - Agnes is very good about protecting me from my own fashion inadequacies.

Kathy - the Founders couldn't think of everything...

Mike said...

'If the dress is very short then...'

I never trust anybody that thinks any dress is to short.

Chrissy said...

I just laughed for a good five minutes straight. Thanks for the shout out...it made me feel slightly less crazy for putting so much thought into it (my husband on the other hand....)
You'll be happy to know (you don't have to listen to me gripe about this anymore) I bought one. But I fully plan to leave the tags on until the day of the wedding. And I'm bringing a backup dress.
The wedding's in DC....those people in DC sure dress fancy :)